The thing about having multiple young children in your home, is that sometimes life goes on autopilot. It can begin to feel like you’re living the same day over and over again. It’s important to often take a step back from the normal hustle and bustle of daily life and think “what are my goals here?” One of your goals SHOULD be to do something every day to work on putting more love into your marriage.
One of the EASIEST little things you can do for your spouse is to simply TELL THEM what they mean to you. Yes, of course they should already know. But there is something about hearing your spouse say sweet things to you that just lifts you up to another level. It is SUCH a remarkable confidence boost to hear when you do something that makes your partner in life stop and stare (even if it happens with unwashed hair and toddler slime on your shirt.)
Now, I know that this goes both ways. Husbands need to hear praise from their wives just as much as we need it from them. But THIS post is geared towards what wives need to hear from their husbands.
5 Things Wives Need to Hear From Their Husbands
1) I love you.
I know, I know… OF COURSE this is on the list. I imagine most married couples say this to each other, and I hope that they do! But I’m not talking about the typical “love ya!” that is echoed through the house as one spouse is on their way out the door (late of course due to the toddler hiding the keys the night before when no one was looking.) I’m talking about the “I love you” that is said while looking into each others’ eyes, embracing each other after spending the day apart. It is not the words that will make her swoon though, it’s the WAY the words are said. The “I love you” that can make her feel his love with every inch of her being. THAT’S the “I love you” she needs to hear every day
2) You are so sexy.
Even though SHE might not love the way her body looks after having 3 babies, she needs to hear that YOU still think she is sexy and that she turns you on. Whether she has clothes on or not, tell her with your words AND your eyes. She will probably argue it at first (no I’m not, what about my (insert self-perceived flaw)) but let her FEEL your desire. I can’t tell you how uplifting that is. She will gain a specific confidence that she might not have otherwise. Sexual attraction is so important in marriage, and she wants to feel wanted and desired.
3) You are beautiful.
Now this is very different from “you are sexy.” Thinking she’s sexy comes from a place of lust (which is still definitely important in marriage, see #2 above.) But telling her she’s beautiful comes from a place of love and admiration. She should hear that she’s beautiful every day. Tuck her hair behind her ear and look deep into her eyes when telling her. It will make her feel cherished and elegant.
4) You are a good mom.
She pours her heart and soul into your children and if that went unnoticed by you, I imagine she might feel obsolete. But when you praise her patience, her love, and her determination as a mom she will feel empowered. There’s nothing more reassuring than that that her job as Momma matters.
5) I love everything about you.
My husband tells me this a lot. And then I will say “what about my (insert what I consider to be flaw)” and he will say “I love it because it’s yours. I love all of you.” I don’t want to brag, but damn. Even on my wedding day I could not have imagined how amazingly my husband would grow into his role as, well, husband. I sincerely hope that every woman will have the opportunity to be with a man that tells her this and means it.
My level of self-esteem is not the same since having children, but my husband makes me feel like I am the most beautiful, most amazing woman in the world. As spouses and partners in life, we have the opportunity/ability to make or break our spouse. We are granted that opportunity every day. So when you start to get caught up in the abundant, never-ending every day task list that is life, and you begin to wonder if you’ve somehow slipped into the movie ‘Groundhog Day’ and you’re living the same day over and over, don’t forget to remind your spouse that YOU SEE THEM. And you love them.